The Road to The Big Screen

Original Cover

While reading Cormac McCarthy's, The Road, I couldn't help but think to myself how amazing it would be on the big screen. Envisioning the dark, desolate setting of this post-apocalyptic world, I would daydream about how they would portray it in film.

Like any other book addict, I was aimlessly wandering around Borders one day when I noticed the title of a very familiar paperback: The Road. The cover was different; it was no longer the plain, black, cover that I owned. Initially this disappointed me. The simplistic, yet dark cover it originally was symbolized the world McCarthy portrays on the inside. The barren, gloomy cover coinicided with the sinister, mysterious world the characters face in the novel. As I disappointedly headed over to investigate it, I noticed the illustration was actually a photograph. Or was it a still frame? A potential movie poster? As I snatched the book off the Bestsellers' table, the frown on my face quickly transformed into a beaming grin as I read, "Now A Motion Picture" across the cover. I looked up at the strangers around me, all shopping halfheartedly, unaware of this incredible discovery I had just come upon. It took a great deal of self control to not turn to the person next to me, shove the book in their face, and say, "Oh my God, did you see this?!"

I was absolutely ecstatic to see that one of my favorite books would soon be coming to theaters. Naturally, I searched IMDb the first chance I got. Since the movie is not to be released until later this year, information was rather limited. But to my surprise, there were a few pictures of the film. "Perfect," I thought as I looked them over in awe. Perhaps they were able to truly illustrate the dismal world McCarthy aggressively writes of...

A man and his son are living in a post-apocolyptic world--dark, ash covered, lifeless, and above all, treacherous. Humanity is minimal, and what is left of it could hardly be considered humane. Most people that are still living have converted to cannibalism--besides the man and his son. They are determined to find a haven again. Is there any safe place left? Will they make it there alive? Readers are faced with these questions as we are taken on a suspenseful, disturbing, and at times heartrending ride across a tarnished, desolate America.

So will they be able to capture the intensity and depth of McCarthy's words? Will I be one of those crazed fanatics screaming out in the theater, "No, that's not right!" Hopefully not. But as I've said before, the book is normally better than the movie. Accuarately depicting this controversial and pyschological book should be an interesting cinematic vision. Will they do it?

New Cover

What Makes a Masshole

***A change of pace from my usual blog subject...

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“Yankees Suck!” The infamous slogan echoes through Fenway park. Shirts, signs, and hats display Boston's cynical motto. Head over to a Celtics game down at TD Banknorth and one can still be guaranteed to find a few sporting the gear screaming "Yankees suck!" during halftime. Catch the irony? Fans continue to chant the notorious slur at recreational events that have nothing to do with the Yankees, or even baseball for that matter. That’s merely the aggression and animosity that defines what makes a Massachusetts resident a Masshole.

The components of a Masshole are as follows. A Masshole is anyone who resides in the state of Massachusetts; drives horribly; chants “Yankees suck!” anywhere, anytime; believes being called a Masshole is a compliment; has bumper stickers displaying the name of some unknown Italian or Irish politician; hates everything about New York; and brags about the Red Sox, the Kennedys, Sam Adams beer, and Thanksgiving.

Children's attire displaying Masshole-ness

Simply put, an asshole from Massachusetts.

Examples of these Masshole tendencies include the following actions. As drivers, Massholes will slam on their brakes to daunt a tailgater, curse people who drive too slow, and in the same breath, purposely drive at turtle pace to taunt other motorists. A Masshole will complain New Hampshire is full of hicks, yet race there during the Christmas season to shop tax free. They will claim the Red Sox as a religion and defend the team until their last dying breath. A true Masshole will feel their stomach crawl when they meet someone wearing a Yankees hat, and then immediately check them off as a sworn enemy. And always, they remember to smile and say “thanks” when someone shouts Masshole at them through their car window.

A personal experience of my own might further help to exemplify the defintion. One fine New England afternoon, I was driving with my cousin from her home in New Hampshire--the Dark Side--to the heart and pride of New England--Massachusetts. Driving down 95 South, we get stuck behind a 60 mph-er. My cousin groans as she slows down to swerve around him.

“What the heck! I’m really sorry Tiff, but you guys really are Massholes. You’re either driving too fast or way too slow.” says Kellie Georgopolous, a lifetime resident of the "Live Free or Die" state.

Naturally, she couldn't help but continue to spit out the ways as to why the Commonwealth state was full of ignorant drivers. Trying to stray away from Masshole stigmas--such as getting into fist fights with anyone who steps on your toe--I bit my tongue and kept my mouth shut.

Kasey Bingham, a Massachusetts dweller all her life, tries to defend the reason behind the Masshole assertiveness.

“We taunt people from other states. Even if they’re New Englanders too, we still make fun of them as if they shouldn’t be here. But I mean, have you seen people from Maine drive? Come on! Get out of the fast lane if you’re going sixty!” says Bingham, a Littleton resident.

Restaurant entrepreneur Scott Plath, a true New Yorker, has lived in Massachusetts for over 20 years now. He has no problem advertising his love for the New York Mets and Giants around the Bay state. Plath believes Boston fans take it too far with the “Yankees Suck” memorabilia.

Windows in Boston depicting Anti Yankee-ism (2007)

“You never see a New Yorker walking around with a “Red Sox Suck” T-shirt. It’s a little too much,” says Plath. “It lacks class. Root for your team without disrespecting the other team.”

Other Massachusetts residents, like Amy Goldthwaite, possess the Boston pride but can acknowledge when enough is enough.

“We lose a game and start a riot in Boston!” says Goldthwaite, of Lowell. “We’re really just assholes,” she says with a chuckle.

Whether it’s defending the deletion of the consonant R in our speech, or why the Red Sox couldn’t win a World Series in almost a century, there is a passion there that is hard not to appreciate. Massachusetts residents may possess a bit more anger than any other state, but let's look at the facts. They live in one of the most expensive states in the U.S; understandably they may be a bit testy from being dead broke all the time. Perhaps Massholes could take it down a notch with the “Yankees Sucks” gear. Is it really necessary to have it on the coffee mugs? And the road rage. Well, maybe a few classes of anger management wouldn’t hurt. Other than that, there seems to be no problem with their expressive ways. Ignorant—no. Prideful—yes!

As The Dropkick Murphys, a band noted for their Boston pride, like to shout, "For Boston, for Boston, thy glory is our own. For Boston, for Boston, tis here that truth us known."

Red Sox fanatic at Boston parade (2007)