The Curse of Being a Writer

Ever stare at a computer screen, blank faced, not a thought running through your head, listening to the light hum coming from your laptop? As you contemplate Facebook, a nap, or rearranging your entire room, you realize...dun, dun, dun! Writer's block has hit you square in the face.

So when they ask me, "Tiffanie, why don't you start writing a book?" Well besides the fact that I am the absolute best at procrastination, writer's block has been known to taunt and torture me severely with some of my biggest writing projects. The thought of writing a novel scares the hell out of me. Yet after I finish writing a piece and read through it, I realize it's what I truly love. Completing an entire book is definitely on my "To Do" list before I die.

But can I do it? Well if it wasn't for the procrastination issue and the writer's block disease, it would have already been done. There should be a self help class for people who suffer from the two. But alas, there is not. At least not that I know of.

There are a few things that I've found that help me. Good tunes, a cup of coffee, and reading an interesting article will usually spark my creative brain waves into motion. Staying away from Facebook or any other social network is definitely mandatory. Facebook is the equivalency of heroin for people with a procrastination issue. Not a good idea to get on when you're trying to find motivation for writing a 15 page paper.

So perhaps when I graduate and finish my cross country road trip, I'll finally start my book. (Did I just procrastinate?) I know for sure that I'll base it off times of my life. I only wonder how much my ruthless disease of procrastination and writer's block will interfere with it.

The Bandwagon

I don't care what anyone says. The Twilight series is remarkable. The Notebook, by Nicholas Sparks, is another “one” that I absolutely adore. Judge me if you must, (though I'll probably strongly dislike you for doing so) but I cannot help but jump on the bandwagon with some of the overly popularized “ones.”

By “ones,” I mean the Harry Potter geek saga, Danielle Steele’s juicy romance novels, every Nicholas Sparks’ book to ever hit bookshelves (and theaters), and of course, Stephenie Meyer’s vampire craze, Twilight. Overall, every book that has ever been dramatically marketed, gossiped, or made into action figures. Or an animated TV series.

Yet “one” that I have never been able to force myself to read and enjoy is the Harry Potter series. Naturally, I began with the Chamber of Secrets. After getting through the first few chapters, I felt the strong urge to burn my book. I attempted the movie and fell asleep halfway through—in the midst of a cram packed theater.

I take this in a positive way though. Maybe I’m not prone to falling into the traps of all the “ones.”After all, just a glimpse at a Danielle Steele book and my skin crawls.

Roll Call

Along with basking in the sun and attending as many concerts as I possibly can this summer, I also plan to get through an extensive list of books along the way:

Practical Magic by Alice Hoffman-I've always had an unusual interest in witchcraft and the supernatural.

No Country for Old Men by Cormac McCarthy-One of my favorite books is The Road, so I figured I should read another of his. (Genius, I know.) Yet I attempted to read the book before and actually couldn't get into it. I'll take another stab at it this summer.

Confessions of a Shopaholic by Sophie Kinsella-It is probably a semi-autobiographical version of my life. So I figured I'd be laughing the majority of the way through it...or crying.

On The Road by Jack Kerouac-I feel like a disgrace to mankind for not having read this book yet.

Perks of Being a Wallflower by Stephen Chbosky-It's in the "Favorite Books" section for almost everyone on Facebook. But then again, so is Harry Potter. Could be an audacious move on my part.

The Joy Luck Club by Amy Tan-I've read excerpts of it for a class and became very interested. I love reading about different cultures and historical events.

Wuthering Heights by Emily Bronte-The novel has been referenced in a few of my favorite books. Plus it's a classic. So I figured I find a copy to indulge in.

Misery by Stephen King-Two words: Kathy Bates. And naturally, it's a Stephen King book. The idea of a sadistic fanatic holding her favorite author hostage is enough to grab my interest.

I Hope They Serve Beer in Hell by Tucker Max-Read the first few pages of it online and laughed repeatedly the whole way through it.

Witches of Eastwick by John Updike-Again, the supernatural is definitely a page turner for me.

Into the Wild by Jon Krakauer-Once again, I feel like a disgrace to humanity for not reading this yet.

Austen and Zombies!

Really? Have they really taken Jane Austen's classic, Pride and Prejudice and transformed it into a zombie tale? Not that I'm not into contemporary literature, but must they destroy the classics by adding a dash of Night of The Living Dead to a beautiful romance novel?

The perpetrator is Seth Grahame-Smith. An aspiring screenwriter in L.A., he has supposedly taken one class in English Literature...in his entire life. Probably all the more reason why he took this novel and transformed it into a blood fest.

In my opinion, Mr. Wickham, and Charles Bingley's scary sister, Miss Bingley, add enough horror to the book without there being a need to add walking, groaning corpses. But who am I to judge? Maybe slaughtering, grotesque monsters, and Lizzy Bennet fighting them off in a 19th century dress will add just the spice that Austen never included. Others seem to think it was brilliant addition.

According to Amazon's Editorial Reviews, it's "complete with romance, heartbreak, swordfights, cannibalism, and thousands of rotting corpses, Pride and Prejudice and Zombies transforms a masterpiece of world literature into something you'd actually want to read."

In an article by Entertainment Weekly, Pride and Prejudice and Zombies' contributing author, Grahame-Smith mentions, "it's almost as if, subconsciously, Jane Austen is laying out the perfect groundwork for an ultraviolent bone-crushing zombie massacre to take place." Really Mr. Grahame-Smith?

On a brighter note, his blog and political opinions are pretty fabulous.

The Beginning is the End?

No, not the Smashing Pumpkins. But literally the beginning is the better half of many of the novels I've encountered. Normally, I would expect books to get better the farther you get. Like wine, finer with age? The intensity and appeal of the book should only heighten the further along the reader gets.

So now I'm on yet another book where I'm pushing myself to finish it. Books of the like tend to grab me in the beginning, take me through with eager interest, and then break my heart during the conclusion. Frankly, the ending should be the accumulation and climatic point of it all. This is not always so with some of my favorite books. It's a rather bittersweet feeling.

Example? Where the Heart Is follows the story of a young mother, deserted by her boyfriend, and trying to make a life for herself in the middle of nowhere--literally the middle of nowhere. (The story takes place in some remote town in Oklahoma.) From the beginning, it's a captivating tale. Witty, touching, and even suspenseful at moments. Yet the last few chapters took me just as long to read as the first 300 pages of the book. I became so bored with it, that I ended up renting the movie and watching the conclusion of the story, rather than reading it.

Unfortunately this isn't the first book I've encountered like this. The novel I'm moping through now, Those Who Save Us, was completely captivating three quarters of the way through. I couldn't put it down. It focuses on a woman of German and Jewish descent trying to discover her family's past during World War II. Now, in the conclusion, I once again find myself bored with this originally gripping novel.

Maybe it's my small case of A.D.D. or perhaps authors need to keep up the pace when writing. But whether it's me or the writers, it's beginning to be quite a disappointment when I read.

Leaving Behind a Sense of Youth...

"Wait, you're graduating next spring?" asks Peter Barry amongst the scuffle of the classroom. "I thought you'd be a lifer like me," he says with a smirk.

As fabulous as that may sound to some college lovin' students, it's just not the case. There comes that year when your advisor informs you that you have only three classes left until you graduate.

It's rather a bittersweet feeling for most. On the one hand, this signifies the end to dreadful exams, painful papers, and nagging professors. On the opposing side, it means taking another serious stride further into adulthood, and possibly leaving behind a huge chunk of your youth.

A student's college graduation day is an immense accomplishment. With degree in hand, one is now ready to fully jump into the career world and make a living for oneself. In the same breath, many graduates may hesitantly be glancing over their shoulders, wondering how much of their youth they are leaving behind.

Does this mean leaving behind nights of carefree drinking with the buddies? An end to late mornings, playing hooky on those warm, spring days? Saying good-bye to an ensemble of flip-flops, sweats, and a tie-dye T-shirt? After all, unless you're going to be working for a Grateful Dead cover band, I doubt this attire will be suitable for any career.

But some feel as though leaving behind college will not be such a stressful event. They are willingly and gratefully ready to jump into the so-called adult world.

"I'm ready to start a career already," says UML senior, Kasey Bingham. "I really want to start teaching and making a living for myself."

But finding a career during an economic recession may not be easy as some may think. Even with a Bachelor's or Master's Degree, experience is a key ingredient that companies look for when hiring new graduates. UML advisors suggest taking a trip to the Career Center to help set students on the right path. Participating in internships, career fairs, and extracurricular activities are all ways to accent a résumé.

Student, Peter Barry, discusses his reasons for staying in college.

“Students should really be thinking about internships while in school. Not only does it look good on résumés, but it gives you a chance to really get a feel for what you want to do—to see if you definitely like it or not,” says Priscilla March, a counselor at the UML career center.

Others who have tried to go out and work full-time before getting their degree feel as though they left school too early. Nicola Regan, a junior a UML is eagerly anticipating coming back to campus after taking a semester off.

"I can't wait to come back," says Regan. "I'm even taking summer courses to get myself back on the right track. Working full time can wait a little longer," she says with a smile.

At the crowded bars on a late Tuesday night...

But clearly not all students have lost their youthful tendencies after graduation day. Friends, who have graduated, moved on to careers such as elementary school teachers, newspaper reporters, or restaurant managers still know how to enjoy themselves.

Every weekend, teachers from Lowell High School roll through the restaurants and bars in downtown Lowell like clockwork. As they yell, laugh, and chug more beers, I can’t help but think to myself, “Those were my high school teachers? They have fun? Drink booze?” But even some of them, in their thirties or older, clearly know how to have a good time still.

“Old Court tonight?” reads the text from Angie Bergeron. A teacher at an elementary school in Lowell, she still finds her way out to the downtown bar scene every weekend to have a good time with her friends.

An upcoming UML graduate, Nick Brecken, does not feel as though he’ll be losing too much of his youthful lifestyle. With a career already ahead of him, he plans to not let that get in the way of playing with his band, taking hiking trips with friends, and enjoying a few parties here and there.

So perhaps there is nothing to fear about leaving college. After all, it's not really a death sentence to enter the "real world," as many 30 plus adults like to proclaim to twenty something year old college students.

"Live it up now," says a regular customer at Cobblestones as I clear the empty drinks off his table. "After college, it's the real world. All work. So don't go overexerting yourself while you're still so young."

In actuality, that doesn't quite seem to be the case. Ultimately, it's about knowing how to provide that balance of work and play. Graduating college is not a death sentence. It's up to you to make a life for yourself.

Choosing not to become a workaholic or get sucked into a job you loathe will ultimately lead you down a happy path. Knowing how to hold onto that sense of childhood and youth is ultimately the best way to live. You don't need to cling onto your college career and youth to enjoy life.

Enjoying the live music on campus at UML

Moral of the story? Don't forget to live a little. We may be leaving behind inspiring professors, favorite hang outs, and loud, free campus concerts but we'll always have that sense of youth in us. Continue to take chances and experience life as you did as a 21 year old. Only difference is, the older you get, the less likely you'll make the idiotic decisions that could land you in prison.

In the words of Oscar Wilde, "The one advantage of playing with fire is that no one ever gets singed. It is the people who don't know how to play with it that get burned up."

Nick Brecken discusses the pros and cons of leaving college.

Struggling Economy Blues

***Again, class criteria is forcing me to ignore the subject of my blog!

Merrimack Street

It's Friday night and the lounge at Cobblestones of Lowell is strangely quiet except for the sound of The Doors coming out of the vintage looking jute box. As the wait staff mopes around the restaurant, trying to remain positive, and keep up with side work, they all are contemplating the same thing. Where is everybody? Normally, the frantic atmosphere is almost unbearable on a weekend night, but as a waiter, it's a wonderful feeling. It means money in the bank. But not lately. Local businesses have been faced with the dreadful economic recession.

Waitress (Megan Burdt) coping with economic stress...

Downtown Lowell is laced with historic mill buildings, various eateries, and a handful of multicultural people. During the week, high school students roam the streets and take over the downtown scene. Thursday through Friday nights, college students dance down the cobblestones paved roads and in and out of the Irish pubs. Weekdays, businessmen can be seen lugging briefcases and rapidly talking on their Blackberries. But most of all, downtown is a haven for small, local businesses. It's what brings diversity to the downtown area. But during an economic crisis, it’s a rather intimidating circumstance for many of the neighboring businesses.

"The economy has been an issue main street and across the country. We've been affected. People are spending frugally so it's affecting retail as well as restaurants," says entrepreneur Matthew Descoteaux.

Franky and Matthew Descoteaux, owners of Mambo Grill, Monkey's and Humanity are coping well with the struggling times. Putting the interests of their customers first has helped them to remain positive during this unfortunate time.

"We at Mambo Grill, Humanity, and Monkey's really tried to create innovative, strong businesses that focus on the customer, " says Descoteaux.

Clearly, they have a knack for running well established businesses. Having run three successful businesses in the downtown area, they have managed to form a monopoly of their own. Mambo Grill, the delicious and popular Mexican restaurant, Monkey's a trendy, new ice cream parlor, and Humanity, the stylish clothing store, all sit comfortably on Merrimack Street.

Mambo Grill

Another business in the area dealing with the economic blues has a bit of a seniority claim on the downtown vicinity. Cobblestones has been proudly located on Dutton Street for 15 years now, owned by entrepreneurs, Scott and Kathy Plath.

"Times have been tough to say the least," says Kelli Robarge, Cobblestones manager. "It's definitely slowed down, but we have our regulars to keep us afloat."

Clearly, customer appreciation is another aspect that has helped to keep the popular American cuisine establishment in order during the economic low.

Even with the faithful regulars, the usual frantic Friday and Saturday nights seem to be a distant memory down at the 'Stones. Before, the lounge and bar area would always be jammed packed and lively with customers. Groups would hover over tables waiting for the next available one to open up. The lobby would be full of families, couples, and businessmen, waiting for their turn to be escorted into the chic dining room. Now there’s rarely a wait, and the bustling bar is just not as lively and full as it used to be.

Finding a table at Mambo Grill during lunch hour used to be next to impossible Mondays through Fridays. Try to grab a quick burrito after class, and you'd find yourself battling with fellow students, nurses, businessman, professors, and any other patron that made their way down to the popular Mexican spot on their lunch break. Now, there isn't much of a fight to put up anymore for a table. The lunch rush has most definitely tamed down.

Cobblestones, as well as other restaurants, have been doing special promotions to help bring people in. One deal Cobblestones features is the "Hump Day Buffet," which consists of 12 items ranging from marsala to seafood, every Wednesday afternoon for $11.99. Another deal, "Great Plates," included 11 different restaurants in downtown such as La Boniche, Cobblestones, Athenian Corner, Centro, and many more. This took place during the last week of February and featured a fixed price menu where guests could get a three course meal for a reasonable price.

Cobblestones of Lowell

"We're taking the initiative to bring people in," says Robarge.

Above all, businesses are remaining positive. Downtown may be visited by many tourists and newcomers, but most of all; the faces are very familiar for many of the downtown establishments.

"We pride ourselves in excellent value, especially for the customers, and I think that's definitely understood by them," says Descoteaux. "When running a business you need to stay positive. Attitude is your first step towards success."

The downtown area may be a bit emptier than usual, but the festive places and people that keep it lively are still smiling. The attractions of downtown are not only the boisterous, college bars that line the streets, but also the unique businesses and people that help to keep downtown Lowell a destination spot even during an economic recession.

"In our opinion downtown is the best place to run a business in the area. It's very centrally located and definitely connected to the city," says Descoteaux.

Cameron, would you write a book?

He began writing for Rolling Stone magazine as a teenager. Today, he continues to contribute to the influential magazine. But most of all, he writes and directs movies. Although only a few, his movies have achieved great recognition as well as a handful of awards. The best one of all (in my eyes) is Almost Famous, his semi-autobiographical story of a teenage journalist for Rolling Stone magazine who goes on tour with an aspiring rock band in the 1970s. Yes, he is Cameron Crowe. This man needs to write a novel (again) and send it my way. I'm sure I'd be mesmerized by it.

My firm motto is that the book is always better than the movie. Almost Famous is by far one of my favorite films: hippies, journalism, and rock and roll. I was blissfully entertained. I could watch it over and over and never lose interest. Recently I've contemplated over Crowe's role as the writer and director of the movie. He began as a journalist and author before heading into the film industry. But as a former journalist for Rolling Stone magazine, he wrote about some of the greatest bands and artists of all time: Led Zeppelin, The Allman Brothers, Deep Purple, The Eagles, The Who, Bob Dylan, and Eric Clapton. Most of these experiences came in his teenage years alone. Almost Famous is roughly based on his time in the early 70s touring with The Allman Brothers. (In the flick, The Allman Brothers are symbolized by the fictional group Stillwater, and Crowe is portrayed as William Miller.) The movie focuses around the love, drugs, and rock and roll mentality of the hippie era. Crowe captures the experiences of youth, friendship, family, and passion (especially for music) in an intense perspective in this film.

So it got me thinking. It would certainly be a gripping novel if he wrote about his entire experiences as a teenage journalist in the 70s. Tell us all about it. Not just about The Allman Brothers, but Bob Dylan too! What was it like to interview members of one of your favorite bands of all time, Led Zeppelin? How did it feel to have Rolling Stone, Creem, and The Los Angeles Times publish your work at such a young age? What was it like to be a teen during one of the best rock decades?

Having already wrote a novel, this would not be something he isn't accustomed to. Fast Times at Ridgemont High was a book before it was put onto the big screen. So why he can't he do it again? I only question whether it would be a tough debate on which would be better. Almost Famous covers an important time in his teenage years as a journalist, but it certainly doesn't cover it all. Even if the book did dig deeper into his experiences and give readers a broader look at what happened during this period in his life, would the book be better? Being both the film writer as well as the author, could he really outshine himself? Would the pages of Crowe's potential novel really be more captivating than his cinematic artwork of Russell Hammond and Penny Lane? One can only imagine. But it would be definitely be a book I'd push to the top of my reading list.

A Britney Book?

Apparently, Britney Spears got an offer to write a book about the shenanigans her life encompasses for a whopping three million dollars! Why did she turn it down? Besides the fact that she probably can't write, she expected a larger pay out! Issues like this make me sick to my stomach. Excuse me Ms. Spears, but how much money do you make? Do you really need eight million dollars to write to the world what we've already seen all over the tabloids?

But I'm not bashing Britney. I can gladly admit that I DO like her music. (Her albums sit proudly alongside my Nirvana, The Cure, and Aerosmith albums. Weird, I know.) Her personal life, or what I've seen of it, I quite frankly don't care about. In other words, I'm not happy to see that big time book companies like Little Brown, Random House, and HarperCollins are willing to chase her like this.

Then I stop, think about it, and realize, people WILL buy her books. Just as everyone compusively buys those juicy gossip magazines, a set of books actually written from Spears' perspective would be like the Bible to them. They'll sell faster than cheap beer at a frat house.

Needless to say, it was settled. Ms. Britney Spears will be receiving ten million big ones for a three to five book series regarding the crazy, drunken road she's been down. Struggling, aspiring writers who can't get a publishing company to glance at their work will have to continue eating Easy Mac for the time being. As our economy is severely tattered, the rich are continuing to get richer. This Britney Spears' book deal further exemplifies the instance. Not to mention, that another ridiculous book will be hitting the bookshelves of Barnes and Noble and Borders within the next few years. But perhaps I'm jumping the gun. Maybe it will be worth buying a copy and taking a peek. Does the princess of pop have a few more tricks up her sleeve?

College is ruining my love for the classics...

OK, so obviously I've made it clear that I enjoy reading. I can appreciate the classics, as well as the newest fads. I'm 21 years old and yet I wouldn't mind re-reading one of Judy Blume's pre-teen classics, such as "Are You There God? It's Me, Margaret." The next day I may pop open Cormac McCarthy's suspenseful novel, "No Country For Old Men," or perhaps a Stephen King thriller like "Misery." I never get tired of indulging in a romantic novel like a Nicholas Sparks one. And of course, "The Iliad" is definitely one of my favorite page turners, along with Jane Austen's "Pride and Prejudice." Clearly, I like a variety.

But all in all, I want to read what I want to read. Academia is great, really it is. But it's getting in the way of my reading list. I have at least 10 books floating around my head that I'd like to be reading right now. (Practical Magic, Wuthering Heights, On The Road, and Confessions of a Shopaholic are a few.) The problem? There is just not enough time. Constantly having to read yet another Shakespeare play, or another philosophical excerpt from Plato is beginning to drag on my nerves. I don't want to read them anymore! Sure, they're the classics. I should love reading them, but I don't. I feel as if there is something wrong with me for wanting to read "Practical Magic" over "Hamlet". But it's to the point where college criteria is beginning to ruin my love for the classics. Can I please have a break?

New England Weather: A Love-Hate Relationship

***Going off subject again...

Beauty of New England

As I shovel what appears to be snow, but feels like lead, I sigh and realize that Mother Nature has once again played a game of deception with New Englanders’ hearts. At this point, one could say we’re not stunned by this heartbreak and disgustingly used to it by now. Mark Twain said it perfectly, and we (New Englanders) all know it well: “If you don’t like the weather, just wait a few minutes.”

But let’s not bash New England’s weather patterns quite yet. Some of its appeals include the four seasons that grace our lands year round. There’s something for everyone, a little variety. Every year spring brings in a warm, refreshing atmosphere, new life, and a beautiful brightness after the last dreary months of winter. Summers in New England are laced with warm, humid nights, sunny days, Red Sox Nation, and most of all, a feeling of freedom. Autumn delivers cool, crisp air, an array of Mother Nature’s beautiful colors, and also a friendly reminder that winter is on its way. The infamous New England winter is always lovely at first. The freshly fallen snow gracefully falls November through Christmastime. Exciting and festive, the holiday season seems incomplete without it.

Hail...in August?!

So what is it that gives New Englanders a spinning headache? My first bet is the curse of the “Indian Summers.” It’s late October, the air has been cool, finding frost on your car every morning is assumed, and mentally you’ve been preparing for those bone chilling winter months.

Then it hits. You walk out your door one morning, and its 70 degrees outside. The sun is shining bright, and if the calendar didn’t say October 29, you’d assume it was May. As you contemplate running back inside to throw on a pair of shorts, you stop yourself.

After an ice storm, here comes the sun!

Why put yourself through the torture and fill your head with misconstrued beliefs that it will actually stay like this? Tomorrow morning you’ll wake up again, only to find your car covered in a thin layer of ice, and a chilling breeze that touches your bones.

It’s the utmost worst when you have those random spurts of warmth in the dead of winter. For example, there are those illogical days in February where one can comfortably walk outside in a T-shirt. Well, that’s just not right. Sure, our minds—that have been on hibernation mode for the past couple months—are ecstatic about it.

But when we wake up the next morning to find freshly fallen snow covering the ground again, it’s like putting our hearts through a blender. It’s sheer torment. And honestly, along with mental abuse, I’m quite sure it’s physical abuse as well. Our bodies can only take such drastic, rapid climate changes so often.

Not even 12 hours after a snowstorm, it's melting away...

Efrain Sanchez, a resident of New Hampshire, admits that he quickly gets tired of the snow abundance.

"New England weather likes to throw magic tricks. Just when you think the snow is gone and cleared out, they dump more on us," says Sanchez.

On a brighter note, our summers are fairly blissful. But I won’t sugar coat it. The humidity can be a bit excruciating sometimes. Other than that, the weather is absolutely satisfying. It’s the random torrential downpours that seem to snag on my nerves. The sun is shining bright, not a cloud in the sky, and you’re lying back on a towel at Hampton Beach.

Five minutes later, you feel the pitter patter of raindrops hitting your face. You look up to see everyone quickly gathering their belongings and bee lining it to their cars as the clouds roll in. “What the…? Where did this come from? Oh that’s right, I live in New England,” you think to yourself. Try not to blink or you may miss the tornado rolling through.

Sun? Rain? Sun?

I suppose one could say you must have a sense of humor to live in New England. You should be a fairly happy person, for there are periods of time where we go weeks without sunlight. A person, say from California, would possibly go into a straight depression if they attempted to live here January through March.

It’s probably a good idea to always carry an umbrella, shovel, and beach towel in your car at all times, because you just never know what the wind will bring in. Other than getting used to the occasional heartbreak, New England weather is relatively exciting. Eventually your body does acclimate to the severe climate shifts.

"If you can make it here, you can make it anywhere," says Sanchez.

Click here to listen to NECN reporters discuss New England's erratic weather.

Don't judge a book by it's...what?

The moralistic phrase is one that has been running through my mind frequently these past few days. Don't judge a book by it's cover. Not only does it pertain to the obvious--books--but of course, to other matters of life. For example, me. There is nothing that makes my blood boil more than stereotyping. (Well I'm sure I could name a few more things, but I won't.) Granted we all do it, we're human, it happens. But sometimes the ignorance people display through it completely baffles me.

Let's start with a few examples.

Remember that stud, Mr. Wickham? You know, the strapping, young soldier from Jane Austen's, Pride and Prejudice. He wooed all the girls right off their feet, including young Lydia Bennet. Sure he was respectable, honorable, and what not. After all, he was a militant and easy on the eyes, not to mention charming. Oh yes, but he was also a conniving, greedy little bugger as well. Under all his facade and woo, he was nothing more than a money hungry bastard. Strike one for appearances not proving accurate.

Who's next? Ah, let's discuss Mr. Edward Cullen. Yes, the one from the ever popular Twilight series. Here we have the cold skinned, blood drinking, undead vampire. The accused is supposed to hunt on the living, violently killing to feed his thirst, letting nothing stop him or get in his way. Ha! Ed is nothing more than a hopeless romantic, a vegetarian, if you will (he only drinks the blood of animals), and is madly in love with the innocent and humble Bella Swan. Strike Two!

Lastly, I'll give you a classic. Everyone knows her. The White Witch from The Chronicles of Narnia. Even her name portrays a false exterior. Not that I know much about Wicca, but a "white" witch is normally one who practices good magic. So here comes along the White Witch, zapping Turkish Delights out of her wand and luring little boys into her dark, sinister fortress as if it were an amusement park. What's beneath her snow white skin and alluring looks? Only an evil, Satanic like woman who turns innocent people and creatures into stone with a flick of her wand. OK, strike three, you're out.

So what do these appearances-not-being-all-they-seem have to do with anything? In short, I'm tired of them.

Why are people so shocked when I tell them my favorite band is Nirvana? Or why is it that I get looks of bewilderment when they hear my Jimi Hendrix ringtone? How about the fact that I'm an English major, adore books, and plan to write for a living; yet people are absolutely stunned by this. Point blank. They stereotype me. Do I have to look like Courtney Love to appreciate 90s rock? Or be a 61 year old hippie to listen to The Beatles and Janis Joplin? Must I act like a complete "geek," wear oversized glasses, and dress up in Elizabethean clothing to portray myself as an English major? I don't think so. Let's think a little outside the box, shall we?

Clearly, appearances are not all they are cracked up to be. Much like the characters in my favorite novels, I've been judged faster than a slandered woman in a Shakepspeare play. I mean, I've even been stereotyped for my boyfriend's ethnicity. (Another reason why people are mystified by my taste in music). He's Hispanic so supposedly he's only to like...what? Rap? Funny story, I'm pretty sure he likes Pearl Jam and Lynyrd Skynyrd more than me. Strike one million and one for those damn stereotypical people. I think we need to start taking a deeper look before we judge. Or as they say, and yes I will say it, don't judge a book by it's cover.

Stereotypical stereotypes

Join the Club

"Are you going to write a book one day?" my mother asked me. I had my nose stuffed in another one of Stephenie Meyer's masterpieces. I looked up at her thoughtfully, and explained that I wasn't sure if I'd ever write one. But her question got me thinking.

As much as I love them, I could never see myself writing a whole novel. But would I even write a novel? Maybe it would be a memoir. One of my favorite paperbacks of all time is an autobiography: Riding In Cars With Boys. But I never became impregnated in the 1950s and then raised a child on my own, much like Beverly Donofrio, the author, and main character of the book. Yet I'm sure my crazy days as a rebel teenager would make for a good page turner. But I'm not so sure I'd want all those experiences in print. It's a thought though. Maybe a science fiction? I did win an award in the fourth grade for my story on "The Weird Alien." Not exactly the next Star Wars, but the Child's Play Touring Theater did make it into a play and perform it at my school.

Perhaps I will just stay on the road to journalism. Short stories, blogs, and articles seem to be more my forte. But you never know where the road may lead. I read that Stephenie Meyer had the idea of Twilight come to her in a dream. The rest has been history. Perhaps I'll start writing down all my dreams.

Read the Signs

I recently read an article entitled, "Are You a Shopaholic? Read The Signs." Sadly, I answered yes to almost all of the questions. But let's keep it to one addiction at a time, shall we? With this idea in mind, I decided to trace some of the steps that makes one a bookworm, or as I like to call, a book junkie. Here they are:

1. You feel excited or overwhelmed at a Barnes and Noble or Borders.

2. You enjoy the smell of books, old or new; paperback or hardcover, and you can easily sniff out the difference.

3. You feel compelled to collect books, and strive to do so.

4. You'd rather keep your text books than sell them back at the end of the semester. Unless of course the book contains more numbers than words, and in that case, you'd sell it back for a nickel and be happy with it.

5. You actually do the readings when assigned by professors. Occassionally, you will have to use the infamous Sparknotes, but in return feel a pang of disgust or guilt when doing so.

6. You re-read books. And look at people like they're crazy when they question why you do so.

7. You can't help but feel pity for people who claim they don't have time to read and/or don't like to.

8. You like to debate with others as to why a book was better than the movie. In the same breath, you have little patience for people who don't realize, The Chronicles of Narnia, Troy, O, and American Psycho were all based on outstanding works of literature.

9. You know that reading a good book will cause severe problems of insomnia and putting off of school work.

10. You've almost tackled the mailman trying to retrieve a highly anticipated Amazon package.

11. You've considered naming your first born after a character in one of your favorite books.

12. You have a blog about them.

13. You like to carry a book with you at all times, just in case you have a split second to read.

14. You form connections and/or relationships with the characters in your novels.

15. You've actually cried, laughed out loud, and/or gasped while reading.

If any of these applied to you, pat yourself on the back, call yourself a geek, and realize that you too are a book junkie. Take pride in the fact that you'd rather read a book than play a video game, chat online, or watch TV. Hey, at least we have something to do during a power failure. So bravo to you. At the rate technology is going, books may become extinct before our very eyes. It's a scary thought, but hopefully it would never happen. I don't think I could deal with having to read a romance novel on a computer screen. For all others who disagree, read a book.

The Road to The Big Screen

Original Cover

While reading Cormac McCarthy's, The Road, I couldn't help but think to myself how amazing it would be on the big screen. Envisioning the dark, desolate setting of this post-apocalyptic world, I would daydream about how they would portray it in film.

Like any other book addict, I was aimlessly wandering around Borders one day when I noticed the title of a very familiar paperback: The Road. The cover was different; it was no longer the plain, black, cover that I owned. Initially this disappointed me. The simplistic, yet dark cover it originally was symbolized the world McCarthy portrays on the inside. The barren, gloomy cover coinicided with the sinister, mysterious world the characters face in the novel. As I disappointedly headed over to investigate it, I noticed the illustration was actually a photograph. Or was it a still frame? A potential movie poster? As I snatched the book off the Bestsellers' table, the frown on my face quickly transformed into a beaming grin as I read, "Now A Motion Picture" across the cover. I looked up at the strangers around me, all shopping halfheartedly, unaware of this incredible discovery I had just come upon. It took a great deal of self control to not turn to the person next to me, shove the book in their face, and say, "Oh my God, did you see this?!"

I was absolutely ecstatic to see that one of my favorite books would soon be coming to theaters. Naturally, I searched IMDb the first chance I got. Since the movie is not to be released until later this year, information was rather limited. But to my surprise, there were a few pictures of the film. "Perfect," I thought as I looked them over in awe. Perhaps they were able to truly illustrate the dismal world McCarthy aggressively writes of...

A man and his son are living in a post-apocolyptic world--dark, ash covered, lifeless, and above all, treacherous. Humanity is minimal, and what is left of it could hardly be considered humane. Most people that are still living have converted to cannibalism--besides the man and his son. They are determined to find a haven again. Is there any safe place left? Will they make it there alive? Readers are faced with these questions as we are taken on a suspenseful, disturbing, and at times heartrending ride across a tarnished, desolate America.

So will they be able to capture the intensity and depth of McCarthy's words? Will I be one of those crazed fanatics screaming out in the theater, "No, that's not right!" Hopefully not. But as I've said before, the book is normally better than the movie. Accuarately depicting this controversial and pyschological book should be an interesting cinematic vision. Will they do it?

New Cover

What Makes a Masshole

***A change of pace from my usual blog subject...

Photobucket

“Yankees Suck!” The infamous slogan echoes through Fenway park. Shirts, signs, and hats display Boston's cynical motto. Head over to a Celtics game down at TD Banknorth and one can still be guaranteed to find a few sporting the gear screaming "Yankees suck!" during halftime. Catch the irony? Fans continue to chant the notorious slur at recreational events that have nothing to do with the Yankees, or even baseball for that matter. That’s merely the aggression and animosity that defines what makes a Massachusetts resident a Masshole.

The components of a Masshole are as follows. A Masshole is anyone who resides in the state of Massachusetts; drives horribly; chants “Yankees suck!” anywhere, anytime; believes being called a Masshole is a compliment; has bumper stickers displaying the name of some unknown Italian or Irish politician; hates everything about New York; and brags about the Red Sox, the Kennedys, Sam Adams beer, and Thanksgiving.

Children's attire displaying Masshole-ness

Simply put, an asshole from Massachusetts.

Examples of these Masshole tendencies include the following actions. As drivers, Massholes will slam on their brakes to daunt a tailgater, curse people who drive too slow, and in the same breath, purposely drive at turtle pace to taunt other motorists. A Masshole will complain New Hampshire is full of hicks, yet race there during the Christmas season to shop tax free. They will claim the Red Sox as a religion and defend the team until their last dying breath. A true Masshole will feel their stomach crawl when they meet someone wearing a Yankees hat, and then immediately check them off as a sworn enemy. And always, they remember to smile and say “thanks” when someone shouts Masshole at them through their car window.

A personal experience of my own might further help to exemplify the defintion. One fine New England afternoon, I was driving with my cousin from her home in New Hampshire--the Dark Side--to the heart and pride of New England--Massachusetts. Driving down 95 South, we get stuck behind a 60 mph-er. My cousin groans as she slows down to swerve around him.

“What the heck! I’m really sorry Tiff, but you guys really are Massholes. You’re either driving too fast or way too slow.” says Kellie Georgopolous, a lifetime resident of the "Live Free or Die" state.

Naturally, she couldn't help but continue to spit out the ways as to why the Commonwealth state was full of ignorant drivers. Trying to stray away from Masshole stigmas--such as getting into fist fights with anyone who steps on your toe--I bit my tongue and kept my mouth shut.

Kasey Bingham, a Massachusetts dweller all her life, tries to defend the reason behind the Masshole assertiveness.

“We taunt people from other states. Even if they’re New Englanders too, we still make fun of them as if they shouldn’t be here. But I mean, have you seen people from Maine drive? Come on! Get out of the fast lane if you’re going sixty!” says Bingham, a Littleton resident.

Restaurant entrepreneur Scott Plath, a true New Yorker, has lived in Massachusetts for over 20 years now. He has no problem advertising his love for the New York Mets and Giants around the Bay state. Plath believes Boston fans take it too far with the “Yankees Suck” memorabilia.

Windows in Boston depicting Anti Yankee-ism (2007)

“You never see a New Yorker walking around with a “Red Sox Suck” T-shirt. It’s a little too much,” says Plath. “It lacks class. Root for your team without disrespecting the other team.”

Other Massachusetts residents, like Amy Goldthwaite, possess the Boston pride but can acknowledge when enough is enough.

“We lose a game and start a riot in Boston!” says Goldthwaite, of Lowell. “We’re really just assholes,” she says with a chuckle.

Whether it’s defending the deletion of the consonant R in our speech, or why the Red Sox couldn’t win a World Series in almost a century, there is a passion there that is hard not to appreciate. Massachusetts residents may possess a bit more anger than any other state, but let's look at the facts. They live in one of the most expensive states in the U.S; understandably they may be a bit testy from being dead broke all the time. Perhaps Massholes could take it down a notch with the “Yankees Sucks” gear. Is it really necessary to have it on the coffee mugs? And the road rage. Well, maybe a few classes of anger management wouldn’t hurt. Other than that, there seems to be no problem with their expressive ways. Ignorant—no. Prideful—yes!

As The Dropkick Murphys, a band noted for their Boston pride, like to shout, "For Boston, for Boston, thy glory is our own. For Boston, for Boston, tis here that truth us known."

Red Sox fanatic at Boston parade (2007)

Tiffanie Meets Twilight

The first time I had ever heard about the Twilight series, I was writing for The Lowell Sun newspaper.

“Hey, Tiffanie, have you heard of this Stephenie Meyer yet?” Rachel asked me amongst the newsroom scuffle.

“Um, nope. Should I have?” I asked cautiously.

“Well there is going to be this huge midnight release party at Barnes and Noble this week for her new book, Breaking …something or other. Why don’t you get the scoop on it? I guess it’s pretty big.”

After “Googling” Stephenie Meyer, I was bombarded with dozens of links regarding this new, top selling author. I couldn’t help but chuckle to myself as I called Barnes and Noble, waiting to retrieve information about a midnight extravaganza regarding a book that consists of a love triangle between a vampire, a werewolf, and a teenage girl.

So who would’ve thought, months later, I would be hopelessly addicted and enthralled with this woman’s work? Not I. But like an addict to their drug of choice, I was hooked.

Now I’m not saying that I ran out to the closest bookstore after getting off the phone with Barnes and Noble that afternoon. After all, I was still rather baffled by this vampire romance craze. Why was it so special that even the Barnes and Noble associate had to stifle a retort of disgust when I casually admitted to not knowing much about the series? None the rest, I forgot about it after leaving work that day.

Then it reared its mysterious head again when I started noticing the bumper stickers. No, not the ones on the back of vehicles, but the ones you send to your friends on Facebook while procrastinating on that 10 page paper: “Edward Cullen is a VILF,” “Team Edward,” “Addicted to Twilight,” “Breaking Dawn: Give me the book before someone gets hurt,” and my favorite, “People who get annoyed by Twilight bumpers stickers haven’t read the book.”

Facebook Bumper Stickers

Well that last one just screamed for my attention. Maybe I would pick up a copy of the book. After all, I’m always looking for something new to read. I was only hesitant about the series after hearing it was like the new Harry Potter. My thoughts on Harry Potter: little boys running around with magic wands. Not exactly my cup of tea.

Yet I was daring and bought a copy. But let's back up a few steps. Embarrassingly, I have to admit, I saw the movie first. I was forced into it, I swear. Normally, I would refuse to see a movie before I read the book. Never judge a book by it's movie, ya know? But oddly enough my boyfriend wanted to see the movie and knew I was interested as well; so we went opening weekend. Needless to say, I was enamored after the first ten minutes. Leaving the movie theater in a daze, I couldn't help but think, if the movie was that good, the book must be unbelievable. In my opinion, as an English major and a bookworm, the book is almost always better than the movie.

Finally, I got my hands on a copy of the book. Within minutes of opening it, I was entranced. I couldn't put it down. Meyer unfolds a story of romance, suspense, innocence, and the supernatural in a unique and captivating flow of written words.

Now keep in mind, this is merely how I became acquainted with the Twilight phenomena. I have not yet begun to feed you the oodles of details on why I adore it. But rather than overwhelm you with all this Twilight enlightenment, I will simply leave you with a quote:

"About three things I was absolutely positive. First, Edward was a vampire. Second, there was a part of him--and I didn't know how dominant that part might be--that thirsted for my blood. And third, I was unconditionally and irrevocably in love with him." (Stephenie Meyer, Twilight)

What would Shakespeare think?

Have you ever seen some of the books on today's bestseller lists? Last week, Barnes and Nobles' bestseller list included Paul McKenna's, "I Can Make You Thin." This week, "Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man," by Steve Harvey. Call me crazy, but I don't think people will be reading "I Can Make You Thin" in the Norton Anthology two hundred years from now. I'm sure Shakespeare and Whitman would be rolling over in their graves if they ever saw what our society regards as top sellers these days.

On the other hand, Stephenie Meyer's Twilight saga has been a phenomenal hit that has undoubtedly deserved to be on bestsellers' lists since day one. Nonetheless, I'm sure plenty would argue with me that it is pure absurdity that Meyer would be ranked as a topseller for so long, or for that matter, at all. I guess not everyone is destined to be a Twilighter much like myself.

But will Meyer be considered a classic years and years from now? Will people be studying J.K. Rowling in high school English classes? Will Stephen King be a required literature course as Shakepspeare is now? Will Shel Silverstein's famous children's poetry still be read in the year 2984? Will Cormac McCarthy's intense thrillers be a required topic of term papers in the 22nd century?

These are just some of the ideas that pop through my head as I push aside my Shakespeare book to pop open my copy of Breaking Dawn, the last in Meyer's vampire romance saga. Times have clearly changed the way people write and what we enjoy reading. At the same time, as good as Stephenie Meyer and Cormac McCarthy may be, I have a hard time imagining people calling them classics one hundred plus years from now. In reality, can they even compare to the brilliance of Shakespeare? I find it morally wrong to even rank Homer's "The Iliad" with McCarthy's "The Road" though I unquestionably love both.

So what will the classics be?